Magnificent Bastard

I have to open my hat
Not to respect you
Don’t get me wrong
It’s just too hot to be
In a same room with you
But if you promise to love me
I’ll make sure I do respect you
Magnificent bastard, you are

Sinking Feeling

It feels like getting some high-voltage electric shocks. It hurts so bad you couldn’t stand not to have the tears. You’ve lost confidence. You’ve lost your directions. What to do next. Where to go next. Should you do this or that. You just feel…hollow.

It’s true that you can’t hit a home run every time at bat. But knowing this fact of life alone sometimes is not enough to calm you down. You had expectations. You had hopes. You had reasons to wake up and swallow your favourite coffee every morning; even without the sun rising properly. Now the sun still doesn’t rise but those reasons have gone.

You’ve told yourself so many times to stop holding impossible standards. Now you’re questioning standards. What the hell is the perfect one? Now you’re angry. Angry to the cheap reality. Cursing the absolut, pathetic truths. The truths that you’re only a part of average statistical figures; because there exists too many people better than you.

Should you just avoid lots of unpleasant pain and agony by completely ignoring the fact? Or simply blocking your heart from those aches? Is it possible for you to do that? It is. But poor you, you don’t have any energy left. So what do you have now?

T H O S E . B I T T E R . E M O T I O N S

I love you so may I remind you this…
You don’t want to be brainwashed by ideals.
You are always at your own risks.
You have to learn to enjoy losing.

Now, do you still want to sink with the boat yourself, or hold on to your life jacket and pull through? How long can you stand to reasons? If you’re still expecting someone to come and rescue, let’s just hope it won’t take forever to wait.

You Don’t Have to Leave Me Alone

“Dear, Please.”

Dear, please turn off the radio and look out the window
They’ve started the war against us
Could you be less ignorant now?
At least we discuss about our destination to run

Or do you want us to dig each other’s grave now?
Because the soil’s still wet it’s a good time to start
Or we just want to scream help and let those bastards raping us?
It’s not going to be easy for me if we settle to that

Dear, please.

——

“For You”

Father
You have to closed your eyes that day
I was raped tortured and murdered

Lover
No thanks to God you survived from that day
I was disgraced, demeaned, do you remember

Mother
I am inhumanly cursed as you are now
We are breeding an ancient ghost, remember?

I couldn’t see what you see
You run and put your hands away
I’m only standing
You don’t have to leave me alone
Really

***This was written after spending a whole day studying about rape cases of many Bosnian women (and men as well) by the Serbians from 1992 to 1995. The ethnic war has created these perpetrators, which can be their own neighbours, former classmates or even childhood friends. These rapes were conducted as a way to ‘eliminate’, humiliate, and for the men victims, to ‘feminise’ them. These crimes were done to 50.000 women (no matter how young or old they are) in their own houses, in front of the husbands, fathers, mothers, brothers, the rest of the family, and in front of other neighbours, or also in the rape camp. Most these perpetrators did it to obey the authority and others did it because they were simply criminals. Following the cases, significant researches and publications have been conducted. It’s been more than 10 years now since, and in few years more, these women will have their young sons/ daughters questioning about their ancestry.

Heaven

Oh. You like the light, don’t you? When you open the door you like it when it shines on you. You like it more when you can stay over.

Start Kissing Frogs! Now!

“Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.” – Dogbert

Horses

It was a dream of horses running through a large plowed field.
I thought they were going to step on me as I stood persistently.
But they were not. But why they were not?
I got sisters on the phone.
It was not the right time since I was still thinking about the horses.
You think it was funny but I guess we are just on different tracks.
If you think it was funny why didn’t you wake me up?
Why don’t you wake me up when I have my funny dreams?
Those dreams are state of affairs they don’t change with no sweats here.
Why didn’t you wake me up?
Oh I still think about the horses now.